I forgot my brain home this morning. I had to bring some stuff to Lea, but forgot everything. I haven't be sleeping well for quite some time now. I sleep, even try to sleep more than usual, to compensate the perpetual weariness, but it doesn't actually work. I wake up in the morning even more exhausted than I was when I went to bed. Getting out of the bed is a challenge.
Those are not the usual nightmares. They are not made of memories as the used to. They are just weird, and fucked up, and leave me unconfortable. The feeling when I get up is different. I can live with my I did and what happened to me in the past, and burry it back every morning. But those nightmares have been different. less logical. They also play on my fears and anxiety, but in a way that make them much more difficult to push them away when day comes. It's been like that for some times now. It's cool that my past is not haunting me as much as it used to, but I'd like to be able to go to bed without fearing what's on the other side.
I sort of always had a crapy sleep, so I'm used to it. but today it will cost me a 3-hour-trip back to my place to get some stuff and bring them to Lea. I'd have gladly avoided it. Honnestly.
I'd like to be able to get some sleep without wondering if I won't wake up anyone sleeping near me, to be able to go somewhere without checking twice if I have everything I need to sleep.
Oh, and not being awake every freaking two hours or so! That would be a cool improvement too!
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