The Adjustement Bureau

Okay, so I'm moving to China in two month. That's not exactly breaking news. I'm slowly thinking about all those little things I'll have to change in my daily life style:
First, I'll have to find a new shovel, and prepare a new "In case of apocalypse" pack.
Then I'll have to figure out which sport to pick to replace Rhythmic Gymnastic. Probably with Thai boxing. or something like that. Anything that implies punching someone.
I'll also need to find a new dance school, so I can keep on practicing ballet.
Yeah, some little adjustments in my dailylife.

Bescherelle

After two years working together, my colleague forgot my name. So he called me Bescherelle.

A significant part of my job is writting articles, checking articles for mistakes and re-reading articles, just in case. I've been known to be the reference in orthograph, and grammar, and vocabulary and general knowledge.

So I suppose the nickname is quite accurate.

Finals are (almost) over!

Oh, right. So for those who don't know it, my exams are almost over. There are only two left: my TOEIC exam (in 10 days) and the oral presentation of my report (in september).
Finals are mostly over. And I have to admit that this year I didn't even try to study.
And... I'm not really angsty about the results. I won't be head of the year, but I'll pass quite easily.
I don't really understand what some of my classmates meant when they said "I started studying last week!" What exactly did you study? We are in a sandwish course! You already know everything we were taught in class since you're supposed to use it in your job every day! (+ Seriously, it's so basic, all our classes sound like "how to think 101" or "Customer relationship for Dummies")
Ok, I must admit, I'm a terrible person. I good at understanding things the first time, and gather information very quickly before an exam. Like, starting to re-read the course one or two hours before the exam is usually enough. That's unfair. Call it quick and dirty.

That's me and Geopolitics last year. The day before the exam, I went out to buy stuff so I could dye my hair blue, then meet up with the Lady-Nerds-Sisterhood  to book a week-end in london (booking 5days before leaving. No stress), then we went to the Premiere of "The Fault in our Stars" and then me and PM headed back to my place where she helped me dye my hair and re-read the course, for an exam first thing the next morning.

I aced the exam. Top of the year in this field.

 Yup. (I can learn more than a hundred chinese caracters in one hour. (doesn't mean I'll remember them the week after, let's be honnest))
So... this year, I have to admit, I didn't even try! I studied for my Moocs, for my foreign language classes. But Marketing? Nope.

Hit

Hit the track,
Hit the book,
Hit the floor.

I run,
I read
I dance

This is a neverending cycle.

Work in progress

Sewing a 1780's dress, a black 1890's skirt, a med-fan dress, a 1890's walking dress and a 1780's hunting dress, dying a little summer dress,
Knitting a large scarf, a woolen mattress, gloves,
Sewing three cushions and a plush octopus,
Working on my german, my spanish, on my italian, on my chinese,
Studying psychology of popularity, maybe starting social psychology

I guess I could try and work on my feet, on my hands, play violin more often, work on my writing, my book, my journals.

I look at the calendar and watch the days going by without having a grip on them.
I go out, meet some friends, some very dear to me, some I barely know.
I read and work and breath and walk.
Somethings's off.
I couldn't say what. A numbness inside me, cold and damp, talking in a low voice, whispering into my ears, dark words for my heart.
The blanket is warm, when all the rest feels cold. Sleeping but not resting.
Feeding my brain but never feeling challenged. Bored with everything. Where did all the light go? The excitement? The Wonder?
Everything tastes like ashes. Everything is dead and grey. All is quiet. A hollow shell, a moving body eaten from the inside.

And yet.
One step at a time, life goes on. I go on, working, studying, sewing, knitting. So many little things. Keep calm and carry on.
The weight is crushing me, but it doesn't mean I have to crumble. Sometimes the best victory one can hope for is just that: to stay alive, to make it to the next day. To keep moving. Just one more day. Another morning, another evening. One day at a time. Not letting go.
I can walk in the shadows, I know the place. I don't need light. I just go on. one foot after the other. Keeping faith. No sword, no war cries, no great lightnings. Just the muffled sound of my feet on the dust.
There's no glory to gain in this battle, there's no gold, no medal. No great deeds.
The daily battle, discrete and quiet, that never ends and never attract attention.