This week-end, I went for some shopping. I needed to buy a new pair of jeans. But well... obviously I couldn't buy ONLY a pair of jeans.
I must admit that I'm very fond of the accessories I found:
First of All, I bought a set of 3 pair of socks. but not ANY socks... Those are Superheroes socks: Ironman, Spider Man, and Super Man! I wanted some Batman socks but they were all gone.
I decided to wear the superman ones today. Because yeah, I'm in a superhero mood. I heard friends say that it wasn't very feminine, but well... Who cares? Why should I be "feminine"? What is realy a "feminine style"?
'Cause, Let's be honnest: Being a girl isn't easy.
Men do not always look at you as equals. (please note that I wrote "do not always" it doesn't refer to every man, I like to think that most of them are nice and see me as the equal I am.)
I live in the Parisian suburb and work in Paris. I often come back home late (and when I say late, I mean around 11 pm) and it's very tiring to hear people say "oh? a young woman like you? alone in the public transports at night? This isn't safe! You should be very careful! Or come back home earlier!"
Why? Why does the fact that I'm a girl change anything of the situation? I mean, If I were a man, would it be any different, would I be less in danger?
People tell me to wear trousers and not skirts when I have to take a train late at night. And it makes me angry: Wearing a skirt should NOT be seen as "more dangerous" than wearing trousers!
Saying something such as "wearing a skirt isn't safe if you have to came back home late at night" means that because of what I'm wering, there is a possibility of me being harrased or raped.
And that sort of thinking is just painful.
Why should I be the one making the effort?
Anyone can be victim of a physical assault. Someone bitting you and robbing you of your stuff. But women are more exposed to rape. (Again, note that I said "more" exposed. Men can be victime too.)
Education and society taught me to be carefull, to protect myself, that being a girl is dangerous. And Life has taught me the hardway that yeah, sure, you're NEVER safe.
wearing a skirt, or not, going home late at night. No matter what. You're not safe.
But women are taught to be scared.
It is dangerous because some men can't control their instincts.
I have a lot of friends (men), I know them. and I know that I'm not in danger with them. but what make them different from the men who assault women?
I think it is education. They know that They have no right on me, that whatever is my behavior, they can't touch me if I don't explicitly, in complete possession of my reason, give my consent.
But society has the very bad habit of blaming the victim: "how was she dressed?" "was she drunk" "was she alone late?" are too often heard. A victim is a victim: no matter what she was wearing.
I wish it was taught at school, that no matter the lengh of a skirt, no matter how drunk, no matter how flirty she was, She shouldn't be in more danger than anyone else.
I wish people would understand that saying such things as "you should be more careful" only contributes to the idea that victimes are to be blamed for what happened to them.
