Touch-starved?

Call me cheesy,
But when was the last time we had something like this?
When was the last time we held hands? When was the last time we shared something genuine.

I'm sure you wonder the same.
I'm sure you're as scared as I am.
I'm sure you're just as touch-starved as I am.

I miss the ease the devil twins had.
The closeness.
The like-mindedness.

I don't think I'll slow down.
Just carve my path and shine.
Bright. A harsh light, a shooting star maybe.
But I'll carve my name up high.
I wish you'd accompany me.
But I am starting to doubt that you could.
To doubt that you'd want to.
I'm starting to think that this is not something you want to put yourself through.
Not the kind of path you want for yourself.
I don't blame you.



I am touch-starved and cold.
I ache but I'm still breathing.
I'll be okay.
Chin up, smile on.

I just need to stop wishing for what I don't have.
Forget about it all.

[GIF: Eva (Josephine McAdam) and Jasper (Alexander Ward) - L. A. BY NIGHT]

Restless or Reckless?

Back to work, back to sports, back home.
I threw myself in the maelstorm of my life with all I have.
I barely feel at home anywhere anymore. I guess it's a good thing that I'll be moving abroad in two years.
It feels so far away, but then I already survived something similar didn't I?
The classes are interesting and they are a massive challenge. Plus the extra work load can't be such a bad thing. At least it keeps me busy. Keeps me from thinking too much, for questionning too much.
Since I haven't registered at university, I intend to sign up on some classes to compensate. I still have so much to learn. So much I want to study.
Dance started again. I'll be trying out at a new Krav Maga club. And maybe see if I can join the local Volleyball club. Should be out 3 evenings a week. Hopefully 4. Going to the gym too maybe.
Going out and seeing friends too.
At the picnic in July people mentioned that it had been a while since they had last seen me. which was true. I mostly disappear during the school year. I don't mind it much but I should invest more time in people.
I guess I'll book my friday evenings and my weekends to socialize.

Cycles

"ah, young people today, they don't..."

I hate this sentence. 

I've heard it used to talk about me, about my students.
I see people look down at their youth and dismiss them.
In 0.2 sec my colleague said: "I have to teach all this programming stuff I know nothing about. I need a formation." and "oh the programmes have been slashed and cut down! It's awful! The kids don't learn anything anymore!"
Because they learn other skills you humanoid turkey!
They learn to use tools that /they/ will need. And dismissing those on the premise that they are new, and that you lived perfectly well is a testimony of your own mediocrity!
Your inability to accept that the world changes, has always been changing scares me because it prevents you from connecting with your students and to offer them the respect and support they need to grow up into interesting and happy people.