My new job

I love my new job.
I haven't got used to kids calling me Mrs, using my name. It's all weird. But I love my job. At the end of the day, my legs and back hurt, my voice is coarse and I am exhausted. But I love my job. It's far away and I have to get up super early every morning. But I love my job.
I love seeing those kids raise their hands to participate in class. I love how they are excited about the things they are learning, the eagerness with which they add whatever knowledge they already had. I love the way they get more confident. They don't even realise it. They just slowly start to build up new skills.
I started the year feeling like a fraud. Without experience, without being sure of what I was supposed to do, afraid I'd do something wrong, afraid I'd fail, afraid they would pay for my lack of previous experience.
Now all these fears are slowly soothed and I get more confident.
I am still a bit angsty with the older kids. Afraid that what I'd give them is too hard or too easy, that a previous teacher would have taught them differently.
But they too, bring me a special kind of joy. The way they are getting together during our weekly debates, the way they start to develop their opinion, the start to link facts together to build arguments. The way they use what we did before to talk about a new topic.
I love my job.

Be amazed

Every morning, I take the tram to go to work. I take it so early that the sun is rising when we get out of the tunels.
I've always enjoyed it. Watching the sun rise. Feelling the first rays of light on my face. Looking at all the colours in the sky, on the clouds. It feels like a privilege. I often close my book to admire it. I feel joy and peace and a subtle pride. I saw the sun rise again.
I did that with my previous job. I could see the sun rise on Paris. Some people pay a exorbitant price to have a flat with such a view. The golden glow of the first lights on the sea of small roofs. The bright reflection on so many windows as we drove through the parisian suburb.
There aren't many people to take a moment to enjoy such the sight. Mostly they are absorbed in their thoughts and innerworld
I was also told that for an adult it was surprising to be so amazed by simething so trivial, or that sometimes people might look up, but since the take the same route every day, it loses its beauty. But to me it never did. Every morning is different. The clouds, the sky, the wind, the way the light plays in the branches of a tree.
I am forever a kid who is amazed by the little miracles of life.

Dancing again.

I started taking ballet classes again! The Rhythmic Gymnastics Club I used to go to is just too far from home now, so I decided to switch to ballet completely. I missed dancing. Gymnastics has been a major element in my life. But after leaving the club for a year, I had trouble imagining myself going back to the same team and atmosphere. So instead ballet. I am currently taking two classes a week. It feels a bit too light, but I have a lot on my plate this year so Hadrien suggested that maybe I shouldn't cram too many things in my time table. And I followed his advice. Maybe I'll take more classes if I graduate from my master degree.
It feels good to sweat a bit, to dance. It helps being more aware and more conscious of my body.
Practicing a sport also helps forcing me to be organised and to manage my time-table efficiently. Less lazing around on the coach and more actual "getting things done".
I am a bit self conscious but I guess it will get better with time and practice.
So here I am, back to my super busy life. I love it.

The classes are nice. The teacher is an unapologetic hippy with sort of a new methode to teach ballet in a more efficient way. It sounds very new age but actually works so I am not going to complain. No more bare. That's quite a change.
Soon I'll be all fit and gracious!