What happened in 2017

2017 was a weird year, full of new experiences and yet quite calm.
It was the year I fully lived with someone. I have a long and healthy relationship and The lovely monster hasn't died yet, which is good news.
I got my First year of Master degree to teach French as a foreign language. Which means that I am one step closer to my goal: Leaving France to go and teach French or English abroad.
I also managed to read 46 books (not counting comics)
In november, I finished the NANOWRIMO, breaking the curse of only finishing one every other year. I finished it sane (at least as much as I can be) and with my head full of ideas, pumped up and ready for a year of creation.
I learnt crochet and weaving.
I visited two new countries (Spain and Germany) raising the number of countries I visited to 21.
I drank tea and knitted, and sailed, and went horse riding. I took part in my ballet recital and organised a scout camp. I made some new costumes and attended my friend's wedding.
Athena's altar grew and took more room on the mantlepiece. I like it this way.

Hopefully next year will be even more vibrant, full of art and craft.

Don't let them know

22 hours a week, I am the adult of the room. And not just any adult: I am the responsible, caring, funny, strict and reassuring adult.
According to my colleagues, I am a good teacher. They say that I have the right attitude. That whenever I am with the kids, it shows. A presence, a voice.
It's weird for me. I am still struggling with the fear that people might realise that I'm a fraud.
I don't want to fail the kids. I don't want to let them down.

And the spell was broken

I finished the Nanowrimo.
I finished the Nano and I am still sane (sort of).
I finished the Nano and I still have a job, a flat, a brain and a sweet monster:
I finished the Nano and my head is full of new ideas.

I FINISHED THE NANOWRIMO!

It is even more enjoyable that till now I only finished the Nano every other year. So with this one, I finished it two years in a row, making it my 4th finished Nano out of 7started.

And that feels great.

Under the night sky

Deep inside
Where feelings crawl and time is irrelevant

Things move in the dark, waiting for their time to come

A light shines somewhere above but never reaches the deeps

Monsters, born from pain screech

Walk along the path

Between the trees

Night is above

Your footsteps muted by the grass

The soil is rich and the night is long

The path is endless and full of wonders

Shadows move somewhere

But they do not scare you

Walk the path

Toward unknown trails and forgotten roads

One step at a time,

For it is the only thing to do.

Salon Fantastique

Credits Photos:

Gerard Sajot

E.S Photo (@e.sphotoss)

When is it too much?
"People like you don't bend"
When is it okay to stop?
When is it honourable to stop?
"People like you, they just break"
Live everything and try everything.
If not me, then who?
"They go further than anyone"
I refuse to give up.
To be one of the grey silhouettes
"Until one day"
I don't want to be anyone.
I don't want to be plain.
"One day, out of nowhere,"
Work, study, create, exercise, love,
Do. For this is what people notice.
"They just crumble to dust
The spark is gone
There is no more air to be breathed,
No more fire in their blood
They just stop. They fall"

I am tired.
And it gets scary.

Stuck in a book

I fell in a crack in a book. I read it in an afternoon.
It had been a long time since I last fell so deep in a book. I forgot about time and I realised it only when my evil twin came home.
I finishe the book and ran to the bookshp to get the next one.

I can't focus on the world around me, still jalf stuck in this world made of word. I feel grey and slightly sticky, cramped. I feel like I was hit by a car, by a gigantic wave or slap that left me stuned.
My mood is sad and happy and exited and full of nostalgia. And at the same time, I feel numb.