I miss running

Yesterday I looked at the departure board and saw that my train was arriving.
And I ran.
I don't remember when the last time I ran was. But right there, I just bolted.
And suddenly the world came into focus.
Something lifted in my chest and I felt lighter.
I felt freer.
And I ran.
I ran and my lungs felt fuller.
My feet hit the ground and I felt bolder.

I am in good shape despite not having left the flat much in the last months.
But running is not about being in a good shape.
It triggers something else. Something stronger.
There is some kind of gleeful freedom in running.

Keep going

I ran 15 km.
More than I had ever run in my life. I didn't much train for it. I'm still waiting to know my official time but it might be decent. Nothing extraordinary, but decent still.
It was hard. somewhere between the second and the third kilometre, I wondered if I was going to make it. Not make it to the finish line, that I knew I would, but run all the way. Somewhere before the fourth kilometre, I started bargaining with myself: "hold on 'till the fourth kilometre and then maybe I'll walk" and once I passed the flag I just kept going "okay, make it to the fifth kilometre so that at least you'll have run a third of the way." and Then I just kept going. I saw some people slow down and walk but I kept going. "To the sixth km and then maybe I'll walk" and the path rose and fell, was concrete or cobbled stone. The track formed two loops so I saw the eleventh flag before the sixth. I told myself "I'll come back here." And one foot after the other I kept going. "Make it to the seventh".
There was that woman who half ran half walked, I wave at her and told her to run with me. Just keep running with me. She was in for the 10km race. Then we passed the eighth kilometre and I said "Keep going. Let's make it to the tenth." I saw the thirteenth km flag and told myself "I'll make it here again". Somewhere before the ninth kilometre she fell behind and I kept running. I went on. I passed the ninth flag and told myself that I could make it to the tenth. I was behing last year's chrono but I hadn't stopped running so that was that. I kept running. I saw the tenth kilometer and kept going. I knew where the eleventh flag was. I told myself I could do it and I ran some more. There was that girl who started walking. when I reached her I tapped on her shoulder and motioned to her to keep running. "Come on" I said with a smile. She smiled back and started running again. She was running faster than I was so I let her go. I passed the eleventh flag and I remembered the thirteenth. I told myself to make it at least to the twelfth. I saw the girl start walking again. when I got to her, I tapped her shoulder and just smiled. She started running again. She outran me quicky. And from the twelfth I ran to the thirteenth. Then I thought "fuck it, I'm not giving up now".
So I ran.
And I crossed the finish line.
Later the girl I had encouraged came and said thanks. I didn't have much to tell her. if she kept running, then so should I. She smiled and left. I was happy for her.

The day went on.
Now I hurt everywhere. My joints creak, my sinew hurt. My muscles are sore and I know tomorrow will be painful.
But I made it.
And thinking back about it, I find that this illustrates me rather well. I just keep running from one goal to the next. I keep going. No excuse, no giving up. Let's make it to the next thing. and then to the next. Sometimes my path crosses someone else's and I think if they can do it, so should I, and I grit my teeth and I do.
It hurts, sure. But I am still breathing, so I am fine.
At the end of the day, I can look back and say "I made it, I won" and head on to the next thing.

Be your own hero

I signed up at a gym a couple of weeks ago. I've been going two to three times a week since. It feels good.
I don't especially like the place. I feel exposed and a bit uneasy, out of place, even if everybody's super nice. But I keep going back. With my headphones and a cool podcast that makes time fly. I keep running and exercising.

Sport's always been part of my personal therapy, a good way for me to get healthily tired. A healthy way to hurt. To bend that body of mine to my will.

I need that to feel at peace. I need the exhaustion, the sore muscles, the little pains that tell me I am alive. I need to prove to myself what I can do.
I don't think I'll try to really get stronger, but at least to stay fit. To be able to run and to lift whatever I need to. An adventurer needs to be fit.

10 kilometers

I ran 10 kilometers.
I hadn't run in almost four years.
but I did it anyway.

It hurt and I wanted to quit.
But I had signed up for it,
so I refused to stop.
I refused to let go.

I wanted to prove myself that I could do it.

Running 15 km - First week

I'm probably going to talk a lot about Running in the next weeks.

I just came back from the first fitness session by Nike Training Club. And that was cool!
It was the launching event of the 4 weeks training program, with lots of cool stuff to come. So the meeting was at 20h15 at the Carreaux Du Temple, in Paris.
We were something like 800 girls, working out in a crazy atmosphere with cool coaches and . I was literaly dripping with sweat. I felt my muscle burn more than this week-end when I went working out with some friends on a fitness trail.
I caught cold yesterday, and yet, I could not go to the session tonight. That was awesome! I'm not aching yet, and I really hope I'll be fine tomorrow.

Running 15Km

I signed up a while ago for the Nike Women Race - Paris, in the 15km category.

Last year I ran the "We Own the night" race with Nike (took place on a sunday morning, but whatever), which was a 10km race, women only in Paris. And that was cool!

I had never run like that. on a handball field, sure, while practicing Gymnastics too, but never running for the sole goal of running. 10 km seemed huge.

Nike organized a month of training, included in the price of the race. Runs through nice places in Paris, fitness sessions in awesome places (1st floor of the Eiffel tower, or on a boat, cruising through Paris).

I only signed up for fitness sessions.
I don't like to run.
I just get bored when I try to run. It's just impossible to keep running when one doesn't have a good reason to do so. I want to be fit, and to be able to run, but running in itself is such a bother. So I didn't run before the race. Still had gymnastics, and ballets, and the Nike Training Club sessions, but no running.
So on the morning of the race, I was a bit angsty. 10 km to run, and I had no idea if I could actually do it. It's a bit insane.
Happily, I didn't run alone, I had a friend with me: She kept me motivated during the first 4 kilometers (when I felt like I was going to die) and I encouraged her during the last kilometers.
The finish line arrived way too fast for me. I felt so great! I didn't want to stop. I felt like I could go on and run another 10km (maybe not).
Running alone is a pain. running in the middle of a race is cool. There's this electrifying atmosphere. I ran because my friend next to me was running and I wanted to get to the finish line with her, I didn't want to be the one quitting. So I just ran

So this year, when I saw they opened a 15km, I just couldn't help it: I signed up.

Training's starting next week, I'll tell you more about it!