About my finals.

My French Finals are over.
Such a relief.
Those last weeks have been quite hard on my mood, since my brain seemed to be unable to focus on anything. I haven't read really, I haven't written anything worth mentioning and most of all, I haven't been able to study. not even the slightest.
I already explained how paralysing that attention disorder can be, so I won't bore you with this again.
So I was stuck before the exams, seeing the catastrophe coming without being able to do anything about it.
Thank to Lea who gave me a fifteen minutes crash course before each exams, it didn't go even half as badly as I thought it would.
Which was an unexpected and greatly appreciated surprise.
I didn't hand a single blanc copy. I managed to write and organise ideas. It was hard and I now feel as if my brain has liquefied in my skull, but I'm happy I made it though. It was excruciating but very satisfying. I work well under pressure.

Me during my finals

So now I wait for my Chinese exams.
After forcing my brain to focus, hours in rows, it feels even worst than before. Before the French finals I wanted to work but couldn't, now I don't even want it. I feel that I don't have any cognitive force left.
I should be practising my Chinese, re-reading my texts and vocabulary but I don't seem able to do anything for more that ten minutes and the idea of picking up one of my Chinese manual makes me want to put a bullet through my skull.
That's bad. But nothing to be worried about. It will get better at some point.
I guess.

I don't care anymore

In between, I try to at least push my brain in the right direction. I can't focus on anything, let's use that to get my brain on as many project as possible. Thinking about clothes I want to create, things I want to make, things I have to do when I'll be at my parent's. The holidays are so close at hands. I've been waiting for them so long I can't believe they are finally here!
Ten days in Thailand then a month in France. I can't wait.